Ascend Beyond Average

I’m a big believer in goal setting. Everyone needs goals — goals give you a sense of direction, a purpose in life. They strip the boredom away, and they are a cause of fulfilment and joy.

A life without any goals whatsoever can feel chaotic and disorderly — there’s no discipline or strength in such a lifestyle. As the philosopher Seneca once said, “no wind is favourable for him who does not know to which port he sails”. A lot of us want to build discipline and willpower, yet we don’t have any specific goals or a reason to live.

Just ask yourself, how the hell are you supposed to build discipline if you don’t have any goals? You can’t just expect to wake up and get after it, start grinding, if you don’t even know what the hell you’re doing or where the fuck you’re going.

And that’s why you need goals. Because when you have goals, you can put the discipline and willpower towards achieving them. And that will not only give you a sense of joy, but it’ll also make life 10x more meaningful and fulfilling.

I’m not going to tell anyone what goals to set, because at the end of the day, they’re personal. Whatever goals you set, though, make sure they’re trackable and meaningful to you. It’s crucial to be connected to your goals; don’t just set goals you think you should achieve, or what others tell you to achieve. You have to genuinely WANT it, crave the result — it must be a part of your soul. Otherwise you’ll quit as soon as shit gets hard.

The WHY is probably the most important part of a goal, and as Nietzsche once said, “he who has a strong enough ‘why’ can bear almost any ‘how’”.

And one man who’s guilty of obsessing over the “how” while neglecting the “why”, is me. So I am perhaps the man who needs this post the most. That’s why I’m writing this, so that I may improve myself while also putting myself out there.

I’ve told myself that I’ll quit binging on food and entertainment. I’ve made plans on HOW to do it . . . and yet I always fail repeatedly. Why? If you asked me this 20 minutes ago, I wouldn’t have known, but through the process of writing this I know the answer. I’ve had many “hows”, but I’ve never had any “whys”. I’ve been neglecting the REASON all this time, there’s no wonder I’ve kept failing day after day after day.

I’ve told you what I felt like I needed to tell you — the rest of this post is personal: it is from myself to myself, a journal, that I’ll put out there for the world to witness. Below is my “why”.

WHY do I want to quit binging on food, entertainment and relapse to porn? Because I feel like a piece of shit when I indulge in any of those things. I feel guilty, full of shame and regretful. I feel like a lazy, undisciplined, lying, dishonest piece of shit who lacks self control. I feel like a hypocrite — I depressed, stressed, anxious and just plain terrible when I behave in a way that I KNOW I should not behave in.

I want to do so much more in this world — I want to achieve, dominate, conquer and be the best. At what? Kickboxing, studying and content creation. Why? Because I desire respect, support, community and followers. That’s the plain truth. I want my name to be known, and not in a bad way. I want to impact the world positively — I want to leave a mark. Why? Because I do not want to waste this ONE life that I’ve got doing nothing.

But damn it feels so good to just binge on food and watch YouTube and not worry about anything. Yeah, it does, but is that why I was fucking created? Was that what God had in mind when creating me? “Yeah, this kid’s gonna spend all his day binging and scrolling on social media”. NO! FUCK NO!

I want to be the strongest man I can be physically, to not only feel like a man, but actually be one. So that I develop extreme confidence and a certain aura around me and in doing so inspire others. So that I’ll be able to protect my future family, and have a meaningful life. They’re counting on me, I cannot let them down, I’ve got to become a physical beast. And THAT is why I need to put hours in the gym, on the road and in sparring and kickboxing techniques. Not because I have to, or because I want to just be able to pass time . . . no. This — the martial art — is a PART of my soul, a part of me, and my entire future depends on it.

Alright, that’s understandable, but why do I want to get straight As or at the minimum Bs in university? I don’t necessarily care, as long as I pass — at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter for my graduation. But that’s not the point. The point is that I do not settle for mediocrity — I want to be the best, the greatest . . . relentless. And I also crave the respect and awe that comes from being the smartest man in the room. Not only the physically strongest and the mentally toughest, but also the academically smartest. It brings me a rush, a high, that I can’t explain. It’s a natural desire within each one of us, and the difference between me and you is that I’m letting everyone know that I have this desire.

And what’s even more important, is that I’m using this deep, dark desire to help me excel in life. I’m using the fact that I want power, control, respect and admiration as fuel to achieve my goals. What’s so wrong with that?

That is also the exact reason I’m writing this blog and trying to get my voice out there. I want to be heard. I want to BE somebody, not just merely exist in a world full of existing people.

My goals are set, and my “whys” are clear and important. There’s absolutely NO WAY I’ll be 80, waiting to die on my deathbed, having wasted all my life just existing . . . not living. There’s no way I’ll live this one life not having had any impact on the world and people around me. There’s no way I’ll die not ever realising my true potential and having wasted one of God’s creation away for simple, hedonistic pleasures.

THAT is my WHY. Achieve, dominate, move on.

Did I binge yesterday? Yes. Did I relapse? Yes. Did I waste my day? Yes. Did I break my word? Yes. Am I perfect? No. But I am getting better, and the past, for fuck’s sake, is behind me. I move on. What’s next?